As children, we are exposed to movies ending in happily ever after, where a prince and princess rides off to the sunset together. This idea is still prevalent in society.
The traditional view of how life is only complete if you meet specific life milestones is archaic. It was based on times when life expectancy was shorter, female folxs were homebound, and the patriarchy was at their peak. Women's self-worth was viewed as dependent on their martial status and dowry. Essentially, women were only worth something if they were attached to a man.
Today, there is still an underlaying assumption that everyone needs to move through a specific timeline of milestones, such as meeting a significant other, getting married, getting a home together, and conceiving children as the ultimate life goal/purpose. The other assumption is the relationship should be heterosexual and monogamous. If anyone strays from this traditional path, especially women, they are somehow viewed as less than.
In reality, there is nothing wrong with you if you live a nontraditional life. Yet, people still judge people who live life without a partner, with partner(s), unmarried, and/or are child-free. A common reaction when one is not following the traditional path is they are in a phase, will change their minds in the future, and/or have not met their person yet. Consistent with the past, women tend to be judged more harshly for these life decisions. There is truly nothing wrong with any individual single or otherwise; the same goes for being child-free or not.
In conclusion, live life for you. If you want to be in a committed relationship with children or not, both are great choices. There is nothing wrong with your choices...just make the best one for you.
If you find yourself living your life to please others and are suffering, feel free to contact us. While people do not have the right to judge how you live your life since they are not living your life, you may still be impacted by their judgements. We are here to support your mental health in your life's journey.
Quote:
“You don’t need a knight to rescue you. You’re not locked in a turret.” – Candi Williams
“My alone feels so good, I’ll only have you if you’re sweeter than my solitude.” – Warsan Shire
“When we cannot bear to be alone, it means we do not properly value the only companion we will have from birth to death: ourselves.” – Eda Leshan
“I think it’s very healthy to spend time alone. You need to know how to be alone and not defined by another person.” – Oscar Wilde
“I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is ending up with people who make you feel all alone.” – Robin Williams
Stay tuned. The next topic is TBA.
Written by Elena Duong, Psy.D.
Edited by Susanna La, Ph.D.
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