Living Life on Your Terms

The concept of a child-free life has been in the media more in the recent years. There also seems to be fairly strong conflicting opinions on the topic, including when a vice president made an ignorant statement about it. He remarked, "'We are effectively run in this country... by a bunch of childless cat ladies who are miserable at their own lives and the choices that they've made, and so they want to make the rest of the country miserable, too. And it's just a basic fact'" (Treisman, 2024). What are your thoughts on it?

It is interesting how certain concepts in society have become so normalized. People tend to judge others for not going along with society's expectations, such as being in a hetero-monogamous relationship, getting married, having children, buying a house, and so on. This idea is so common many do not question those expectations. Instead, anyone who does not follow along with those societal expectations are often shamed, guilted, and/or questioned for their life choices. Why does it have to be that way? Why is it not okay to live life on your terms?

Underneath it all, why is it not okay to critically think about what you value and want from your life, then making life decisions based off of that. At the end of the day, there is nothing wrong with people who want children, and there is nothing wrong with people who do not want children. Similarly, there is nothing wrong with people who want to follow societal expectations or not after critically thinking for themselves what they want out of their lives. Sometimes, it is easier to judge others than to consider another point of view when there is nothing inherently wrong with either points of view.

An argument can be made that it would be better for people who want children to have them than to have people who do not want children to have them. This can definitely impact the future generation and their mental health. Children are smarter than most give them credit for, and they will know when they are not wanted, likely resulting in much undeserved mental distress.

In the end, you have to live the life fit for you not society. You do not owe anything to society. Your worth is not dependent on their judgments and expectations as you were primed to believe. Living life on your terms will likely decrease your own mental health distress since you will be living your life not someone else's.

If you want some mental health support as you are reflecting on your life choices, feel free to contact us.

Stay tuned. The next topic is TBA.

Written by Elena Duong, Psy.D.

Edited by Susanna La, Ph.D.

Resource:

Treisman, R. (2024 July 29). "JD Vance went viral for ‘cat lady’ comments. The centuries-old trope has a long tail." NPR. https://www.npr.org/2024/07/29/nx-s1-5055616/jd-vance-childless-cat-lady-history